"People, this is art!"
Never mind that the exclamation came after a literal on-screen expulsion that followed on the heels of an acidic rear-end ejection. It's the perfect summation of The Wrong Missy, the Netflix film that heads into the third weekend of May 2020 in the No. 1 spot of Netflix's U.S. Top 10. (Five of the Top 10 are Netflix movies or series, now that I look at it. We'll save the legitimacy of that list for another time.)
Because this throwback to the 1990s movies that made the careers of folks named Spade and Sandler and Schneider and Farley is art.
You just have to look at it the right way.
Seems like we've been here before.
If you're looking for 90 minutes of fairly obvious jokes and pratfalls with a little gross-out humor for good measure — to go along with the usual David Spade short and small jokes — this is your movie
You could very well look at The Wrong Missy and think "Here's another one of those throwaway movies from Netflix that has some big-name stars, but it obviously isn't going to be all that good." And it does have big-name stars. It's got David Spade. There's no Adam Sandler; it's his wife, Jackie, instead. And Rob Schneider. (Who introduced them, apparently.) It's got John Farley — the youngest brother of Chris Farley. It's got ... Vanilla Ice? (You'll have to wait for the end for that one. And it's got Lauren Lapkus and Nick Swardson and Molly Sims and Sarah Chalke and Jorge Garcia and the criminally underrated (that guy!) Geoff Pierson, who you'll recognize from a million different things.
And you could see the trailer, then get a couple minutes into the movie and think "I know exactly how this is going to go. Spade's Tim met the monster Missy. (That's the Lapkus Missy — and she plays the part of mostly crazy just perfectly, and it stands out even more if you've watched HBO's Crashing.) Then Tim later meets Sims' Missy and they hit it right off. And he invites Missy to a company thing in Hawaii, only he invited the wrong Missy and now he's stuck with her but actually he's going to learn an important lesson about himself and realize he really wants the crazy Missy instead of the perfect Miss Maryland Missy.
There's nothing surprising about The Wrong Missy, but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of funny moments.
And you could spend the next 90 minutes trying to figure out how someone screws up two contacts that badly. (Or am I just that anal about keeping my people in good order?)
And you could get a few more minutes in when you realize that Spade is just old enough to be Lapkus' father in real life and spend the rest of the movie trying not to let that bother you too much. (And, damn it, Spade still looks really good for 55.)
And you could wonder if that's really what it's like to use dating apps and why the hell he didn't just bail on Hellstar Missy when the first date turned south. Pay the bill and bail.
(And you could once again thank god that you got married in a time before Tinder.)
And you could spend half the movie noticing who's had Botox and who hasn't.
And you could scream out loud about how no HR director would ever hack into an employee's personal accounts — even if the dumbass did use the same password everywhere — and how just flat-out wrong and criminal that is. (I do love the backhanded PSA about password hygiene, though.)
And you could watch Spade's office-drone hair for an hour and a half and never once see it actually move.
And you could remember how great it is to see Jorge Garcia on an airplane again.
And you could fall in love with Sarah Chalke all over again and wish that Scrubs was still a thing. (Then you remember that it is and you go watch it on Hulu
And you could wonder if someone just had a hankering for a few weeks in Hawaii and this movie was an excuse to do it.
And you could wonder where those 90 minutes went — and whether you can get them back somehow.
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